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Saturday, July 05, 2008

The Best, Most Amazing Disappointment in Television History

The following article contains MAJOR SPOILERS for all episodes of Doctor Who, up to and including the most recently broadcast episode: "Journey's End"

I've stated elsewhere that if this surprise regeneration was anything other than a full and complete character / actor change I would be tremendously disappointed in Russell T. Davies ridiculously continuity-heavy finale. Well: cue the disappointment. But here's what I didn't anticipate. "Journey's End" is so amazingly good, so desperately fulfilling, that less than a minute after the Big Reveal, I forgot my expectations and became swept up in this truly ambitious whirlwind of an episode.

First off: the regeneration. Yeah, it was a bit of a feint (a disingenuous one at that), but the explanation for Tennant's continued presence is at least believable within the context of the Who Universe. Admittedly, I'd have rather seen a real regeneration... not necessarily because I want a new Doctor, but because of the naked audacity of such a well-kept secret plot twist... I long to be surprised by fiction -- think Battlestar Galactica's monstrous One Year Later bit. Perhaps it's not possible to keep a secret anymore. All signs pointed to Tennant remaining with the series at least past Christmas, but I kept hoping anyway. Can you imagine if they'd pulled off a coup like that? One for the record books.

Alas. Alas.

Moving on.

Everybody makes an appearance. Rose's mother, Mickey; there's even a montage of all those who have been lost along the way (a very touching moment). And Captain Jack walking off arm in arm with both Mickey and Martha lends some creedence to the rumors we've all heard that those two will be replacing Tosh and Owen on Torchwood next year. Big shoes to fill.

One thing I didn't get, and it feels an awful lot like Davies usual Deux Ex Machina: Dalek Caan was pulling the strings behind the meetings of Donna and The Doctor? This is far too elaborate an explanation... and indeed when you couple that with Donna's amazing last minute Universe Saving Powers™ the whole episode starts to fall apart. But let's not go that far, because the parts of this finale that were successful worked so well that even I (the most unfailing of Who critics) am able to forgive and forget.

Man... the stakes were high, weren't they? Kind of jerky of Davies to saddle his replacement with somehow overcoming the "End of the Entire Universe" thing. Start slow, Mr. Moffat.

And good luck.


Saturday, June 14, 2008

Pithy Reviews: "The Happening"

At one point, just as we begin to realize this movie is not actually any good, its director gives us a hint about his feelings toward the audience: "You Deserve This" is painted across a real estate developer's billboard... and I gotta tell you, we really don't.

Guys, I mean it: Go see the Hulk again instead.


Thursday, June 05, 2008

Save Gas, Drive Bloodcar

Hahahaha... what?
In the near future gas prices have reached astronomical highs nearing $40 a gallon. One man, Archie Andrews, an environmentalist elementary school teacher, is trying to discover an alternate fuel source. While experimenting with wheat grass, Archie accidentally stumbles upon a solution. That solution turns out to be blood. Human blood!
This right here is the reason I love movies. The trailer is a little "huh?" at first, but trust me, once it finishes you'll be just as excited about this picture as I am. Let's add Anna Chlumsky to the list of Chicks I Never Thought I'd See Naked, right next to Anne Hathaway.